Roommate's cat

My roommate's cat is urinating on my tv but my roommate refuses to believe she "George" would do such a thing. I've been trying to be polite about it, but a couple nights ago I got home at 4am and found the cat defecating on my surround sound speakers! What should I do? -Mike

Well, first of all there are two major problems with this situation - first of all, the cat is a girl and it is named George. George is a boy's name. This is a problem. The second and most important problem is that you moved in with someone who has a cat. Cats should be a big fat fricken red flag. Dont move in with someone who has a cat. They probably suck. Cats suck, so Ill give you a little Boolean Logic Example

In this example: -> means If P is true then Q is true.
P = person x has a cat
Q = person x sucks

P->Q. This means:
If person x has a cat then person x sucks. This is the method that I usually use to choose a room mate. You obviously didnt follow this logic, because you live with someone who has a cat and in turn SUCKS. I have to admit that Im a little disappointed in you for not thinking before you chose a roommate. Anyways, onto the advice. You should probably kill the cat. The easiest way would be to leave live, open wires on the speakers and let it pee on them. Death should be pretty imminent and itll then be pretty darn obvious that the cat had been peeing on your speakers at which point you should punch and kick your roommate.

-TARYN.