A bunch of questions: Taryn's wisdom, ugliness, left-handed smoke shifters

taryn... I have four questions...first off I'd like to say I am a big fan of your column and have in fact written in a few questions myself...you really helped my dating scene out a lot...

So, my first question how are you so good at answering our questions...?

Wow, now that I look back at all of the advice that Ive given over the past month I realize that I really am good at answering all sorts of questions. To become such a wise person with amazing communication skills, one must be very introspective, much like me. Before answering your questions I sit down and think to myself Taryn, you are perfect, give it everything youve got. That usually does the trick.

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secondly...are you ever wrong...??

Thats easy. No.

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Thirdly...how does a "left-handed smoke shifter" work...?

I think you may have thought that you could fool me. You cant. Im just so smart, I know every trick in the book.

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and for my final question: why is it that skinny attractive girls seems to be aware of what looks good on them and waht doesn't...where as nasty girls seem to be unaware of this and wear very unflattering clothes that show off the nastiness in places that make babies cry...???

Remember back in high school when a teacher gave a test and there were like 4 versions of it? There would be a multiple choice answer sheet and it never failed that thered be a real smart kid and then a real dummy would sit near him and copy all of the answers directly from the smart kids answer sheet, not realizing that he had been given a different version of the test. Well, this is just like that. Theres a real hot girl (shes the smart kid) and theres a real nasty looking person (thats the stupid kid.) The hot girl wears some super hot clothes. The nasty one doesnt really know much about fashion, so she decides that the hot girl looks real great in her clothes, so the nasty one decides to copy the clothes just like the dummy copying form the smart kids answer sheet. Since the nasty one doesnt have that same super hot body, she looks highly offensive in the clothes. See how clear analogies make all of lifes situations!?

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thank you for your time and effort on answering these questions....your column is the best of the best... David

Im sure that youll benefit greatly from all of my answers.
-TARYN