Old men's ears

Why do old men have hairy ears?

Surprisingly enough there is a very good reason for this; actually two reasons. You might call it hybrid hair. The first reason is to keep them warm. Sometimes ears get cold, so naturally by the time a guy is really old his ears start to get smart and they grow hair to keep themselves warm. The second purpose is because bugs might mistake alive old men for dead old men and nobody wants to bugs to get all inside them when they're still alive, so the ear hair protects that fragile orifice from becoming overtaken by stinky, annoying bugs.

-TARYN